Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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