Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Randomize
