is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I wish life had little blips of pornography
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize