it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
