we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
