the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
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