Whod you bang
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
