ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Two words: blizzard sex
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
