never play flip cup with pint glasses
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
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