What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
