it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I wish you could order shots online.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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