New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
