I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Randomize
