my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
