Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
