Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
