waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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