Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
