dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
There was a lot of him and a little penis
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
