Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize