Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
