I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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