Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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