It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize