I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
