My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Randomize
