May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize