I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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