you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
They have beer where we have blood.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Randomize