Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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