I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
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