Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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