So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
She told me I should be a condom model.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Randomize
