He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
