i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Randomize
