I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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