you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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