I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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