I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Randomize
