she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Randomize
