I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
