where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
She's the barista slut.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
