Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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