Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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