I wannas sexs uuuuu
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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