Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
