no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
