Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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