i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
My balls are so social today.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Randomize
