so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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