if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
