Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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