If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
