she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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