he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I will be naked everywhere
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
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