Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
