Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Randomize
