The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize
