Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
