Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
