i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
