reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
What a dumb baby whore.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize