Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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