Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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